Monday, December 15, 2008

Bilious Green Goo

Or How Not to Make Taffy, but Have a Lot of Fun

First put the sugar, corn starch, corn syrup and butter in a saucepan that is obviously too small:

Stir:Then add water. This water has to be added so that you can boil it off later, concentrating your mixture to 95% sugar:

Stir again:
Now put it on the stove and bring to a boil, stirring constantly:

When it boils over, pour it carefully, into another pot, because you don't want this to happen.

Now boil, undisturbed, until it reaches 270 degrees. Oh, but you are running out of time and it won't get any hotter than 220. Assume your new professional candy thermometer is a piece of junk instead of realizing the candy won't reach 270 until it is 95% sugar.
Add green food coloring and flavoring. Flavoring in this case, under the children's insistence, will be homemade mint extract made from mint from your garden and Skyy vodka. Pureed.

Pour the goop into a tray and see if when it cools it is thick enough to pull.

Umm, no.

The next day put it back in the pot. Patiently wait for it to reach 270.
Is it still goo?

Nope, it is candy.

Decide your new professional candy thermometer really is a piece of junk.

Quick! Make candy canes before it hardens.


Stefaneener said...

You so seriously have the patience of a saint. I know what it's like to work with only three of those chefs. . .what a day!

And, seriously, those ads? What on earth led you to them? They're like horror movies!! Funny, but horrible. Eeeeesh. I stopped watching after clicking on a second one. Yipes.

J.G. Wilder said...

I have not laughed so hard all season. The picture of the wide-eyed innocent face right on the level with the burner was a real nail-biter. (I'm glad everyone is okay.) I think you should call them "Grinch candy canes" and market them.

patricia said...

Yes, I have to agree with the Things' mom: you must have the patience of a saint. Not only did you cook with *six* kids, you cooked a Boiling Syrup Mixture with six kids. If you aren't a saint, then you are very brave.

Maybe it was better that the taffy didn't work. Six kids stretching green taffy across your kitchen? Sounds messier than your honey jarring.

Barbara said...

awesome! now that looks like a day well spent. Must put taffy in the recipe queue....